State of The Sox

· Sportscasters who could noticeably make watching a game better: Curt Gowdy, Hawk Harrelson, Howard Cosell, Frank Gifford, John Madden—and Jerry Remy. Don and The Eck are great, but that Remdawg sure is missed!

· At the moment, Theo and the Sox seem to have $100 million invested in Japan’s 2009 WBC championship. Dice-BB, (or as the Japanese little leaguers simply call him, Matzaka!!!) Youk, Dustin, Big Papi—all the Sox WBC participants are either hurt at the moment—or playing like he’s hurt, in the case of poor Pap, who has been agonizingly late on a slew of very hittable fastballs. Maybe the last Sox players to participate in that contrived nonsense. Let's hope.

· Sox Grades relative to reasonable expectations:
o Overall, 20-12; .625; 13-4 H; 7-8 A. Grade: B (As expected--but need .500 on the road.)
o Youkilis: OBP .505; Slug: .719 Grade A+
o Bay: OBP .468; Slug: .667 Grade A+ (Swing almost reminiscent of new HOF Jim Rice)
o Pedroia OBP .409; Slug: .414 Grade B (Low Slug)
o Lowell OBP .344; Slug: .560 Grade A (But only 5 Walks??)
o Ellsbury OBP .326; Slug: .354 Grade C- (15 steals-but painfully low OBP)
o Drew OBP .368; Slug: .474 Grade C- (Mr. Unrealized Potential)
o Varitek OBP: .324; Slug: .443 Grade B- (Not good-but as expected)
o Ortiz OBP: .338; Slug: .328 Grade K (As a team man, needs to insist that Tito drop him to 8th. In terrible danger of posting the lowest S.A. of any 3rd place hitter in the modern era.)

· Pitchers: Bullpen A; Starters E, except Wakefield A. With the crackling stuff they have, how can Lester, Beckett, and Masterson have a combined ERA over 6, not to mention the travails of Dice-BB? The Sox literally need to hire a sports psychologist to get these guys to focus, stay confidently in the moment, and avoid those big inning meltdowns. Four good innings and two terrible ones is not a quality start. Overall, these guys’ stuff matches up with Zack Greinke’s, he of the .51 ERA and, so far, absolutely jaw-dropping command. (And that sports psychologist should at least say hello to Big Papi while he’s in the area.)

· P. S. Kevin Youkilis asked me to post this: “If Joba throws one more 98 mph beanball at my big ol’ bald squash, would someone please freaking retaliate!! My skull only looks unbreakable. And would Girardi please make Joba wear a normal ballcap—that dumb thing he wears now would look better sideways, especially when he sticks his tongue out.” (Jason Bay seconded it all.)